1. As I was talking about how it pained me when I open my inbox to see an obscene amount of friendster messages, there is also a disgustingly huge hoard of chain messages from close friends.
2. Some of them are forwarded messages about the fact that its "World Friends Week" and how important our friendship are and if we do not send it, it means we are no more friends. One can clearly see that the same message has been carbon copied to 67 other people or more. Sometimes, I will fire a message back telling these people that there really is no such event as the World Friends Week and I probably received the same email messages from 45 different people.
3. Other than the above, there are also messages sent to scam the foolish ones. They will alert you that you have a huge amount of money waiting for you and it is currently bring withheld in either the Zimbabwean National Bank or the World Bank or one of the Swiss Banks. They will embark on a huge long wall of words, intent to convince you that your long lost uncle's daughter's brother's cousin is dead and has left the money in your bequeth. They will also say that the FBI are hot on the heels and normally such a huge amount of money is not allowed to leave the country. One must go through a lot of legal procedures to acquire the money through the Secret Diplomatic Transfer Fund.
4. I once replied and played around with it and promptly sent their messages to my spam folder later. I knew it, in the end they wanted me to pay them a few thousand bucks or so as legal funds. I promptly told them that I am merely 14 and do not have that amount of money. They never replied henceforth.
5. There is also the kind of email messages that are mass forwarded which targets at your compassion. It says that this kid is dying after he lost his hands, legs and testicles. He is in need dire need of money and his parents are asking you to forward this message and AOL or Bill Gates or Microsoft or Steve Jobs will give them 3 cents per forwarded message. Normally these emails have a few photos attached to show the severity of the kid's wounds.
6. Usually, these messages are of the same photos but with just different names. So I really wonder how many kids there are dying of the lack of hands, legs and testicles.
7. I promptly replied that EMAILS cannot be tracked, so its nearly impossible to find out how many times the same email has been forwarded. Therefore, its impossible for AOL to make such a stupid deal as it will cost them millions.
8. There is also the kind where if you do not forward the messages to a specific amount of people, a hideous penisless bowlegged crosseyed short fat ugly clown with sharp claws will kill you tonight at (insert random time from 11pm to 12am) . However, if you forward it to a specific amount of people, you will receive a kiss or a present from the one you love OR after forwarding it, if you press F6 on your keyboard, the names of your secret love will appear on your monitor! Normally these messages are accompanied with photos of Mary or Jesus or whichever Godly image one can find in google images by typing "GOd" and it also end with "IT REALLY WORKS! REALLY!."
9. There is also another kind of messages which tells you that the world is ending tomorrow morning and it is YOUR obligation to inform others and some even have the audacity to tell you that if you forward it, you will be protected from dying.
10. WTF does that mean? Do you mean that if you forward the message, a miraculous shield will appear around you once the world ends and while everyone is dying, you the only one, of course including the creator of this message will survive?
11. Evidently chain mail like the above not only appear in email inboxes, they also appear in Friendster bulletins. Messages like "OMG, FRIENDSTER/MSN/HOTMAIL ARE CLOSING DON, FROM STEVE ANDERSON, CEO OF FRIENDSTER/MSN/HOTMAIL!!! FORWRD IT, IF NOT, YOUR PROFILE WILL BE DELETED ANYTIME NOW!!!" Normally these messages are also accompanied with websites links to make it look more believable.
12. Firstly, there is no such person as Steve Anderson or whatever name you cococt to lead Friendster. Its basically a cash cow and no one idiotic enough will think of closing it down. Moreover, if it was an official message, don't you think they will first use spell check and grammar check before issuing it?
13. The more stupider and atrocious thing is that people actually ENJOY forwarding chain mail. Either they are so stupid and gullible that they actually believed them or they just have a very mutilated and profane sense of humor unknown to mankind.
14. The people who CREATE these chain messages are possibly old boring old women/men like Stephanie Meyers who live on top of the mountains and have nothing better to do other than create mass anxiety in order to take over the world. They hope that people will panic and start flocking towards the mountains like they did.
15. These messages are eating up the internet's bandwidth and resources, causing an untold amount of stress and annoyance to people who are genuinely serious with their email inboxes.
16. Some of them are just pure silly while some of them are intended to cause mass pain and anxiety. Its really a waste of time for one to scroll down the long long long amounts of "FORWARDED TO:
Iamstupid@hotmail.com,
Iamgullible@hotmail.com......." to reach the message.
Labels: Musings and Thoughts
